How to Face Your Shadows: 3 Reflective Practices to Heal What Haunts You

Let’s be honest, we all have ghosts.
Not the sheet-wearing, chain-rattling kind, but the quieter ones: regrets, old mistakes, what-ifs, and versions of ourselves that still linger in the corners of our minds.

The truth is, most of our hauntings don’t come from outside; they come from within.
They show up when we try to grow, start fresh, and believe something good might last this time. They whisper reminders of past failures or missed chances, just to keep us “safe.”

But here’s the thing about ghosts: they only have power if we run from them.
Healing means turning on the light and facing what’s been following you through the dark.

This October, let’s get curious about your shadows instead of fearing them.

Every haunting has a message if you're brave enough to listen. So light a candle, grab your favorite journal, and let's talk about three ways to make peace with what's been following you.

1. Journal Your Hauntings

When something keeps resurfacing — a thought, a regret, a fear — it’s usually trying to tell you something. Journaling gives it a voice, and in turn, gives you peace.

I used to think journaling was for “artsy” people or those with perfect morning routines. But recently, I tried free-writing for the first time, thirty minutes of uncensored thoughts, and it was like flushing the emotional pipes. By the end, I felt clearer. Lighter. And sometimes, buried in those messy sentences, I’d often find a theme, a truth I’d been avoiding.

Try this:
Next time your mind feels heavy, don’t overthink it. Just write — no grammar, no goals.

Ask yourself:
• “What keeps coming back, and what might it be trying to teach me?”

If you’re a reflection-prompt type, use this one:
• “What fear or memory keeps showing up in disguise — and what truth is it trying to reveal?”

Sometimes, what’s chasing you just wants to be heard.

2. Unmask Yourself

Let’s talk about the masks we wear that protect us from pain but also keep us from peace.

For years, mine was approval-seeking. I didn’t trust my voice, so I waited for others to validate my ideas before believing in them myself. It wasn’t about attention; it was about avoiding failure and judgment. The thing is, masks serve a purpose. We build them to survive. But healing asks us to notice when they’ve outlived their usefulness.

If you’re ready to peek behind yours, here are a few places to start:

Notice Your Automatic Roles:
Are you the funny one when things get tense? The fixer who saves everyone else before checking in on yourself?

Ask:

· “What role do I usually play and what would happen if I didn’t?

Track Emotional Discomfort:
Masks tend to appear when we feel awkward, disconnected, or unsure.
Ask:

· “What emotion was I avoiding when I did that thing?”

Observe Your Scripts:
Do you say “I’m fine” when you’re not? Joke about your pain instead of naming it?
Ask:

· “When do I feel the need to perform instead of just being?”

Check the Aftermath:
If you leave conversations drained, anxious, or second-guessing yourself, you might’ve been performing instead of showing up fully.

Experiment in Safe Spaces:
Try loosening the mask a little. Say “I don’t know.” Admit “I need help.”
You don’t have to rip it off, just let yourself breathe underneath it.

Gentle reminder:
Your masks helped you survive, but you don’t have to live like you’re still in danger.

3. Reclaim Your Light

Healing isn’t about erasing the past; it’s about integrating it, learning from your ghosts without letting them drive the car.

For me, that process started with grace. Faith taught me that I don’t have to be perfect to be loved — not by God, others, or myself. That realization changed me. When I stopped demanding perfection and started offering compassion, I found peace. And that peace didn’t erase my past; it reframed it.

The past version of you isn’t a ghost meant to haunt you; it's just a chapter in your story. They loved with what they had. They did their best with what they knew. You don’t owe them shame. You owe them gratitude for getting you here.

Reflection Box: Haunted but Healing

Grab a journal and answer these prompts:

1. What’s one regret, fear, or “ghost” that still visits you, and what might it want you to learn?

2. Which mask do you notice most often, and what would taking it off for one day feel like?

3. What’s one way you can offer yourself grace this week, no conditions attached?

Final Thought

You’re allowed to outgrow your old self without hating who you were. Healing isn’t about fighting the dark but remembering the light still exists. So tonight, light a candle, open your journal, and maybe… let the ghosts join you for a little while. They’re not here to scare you. They’re here to remind you that you’ve survived every version of yourself so far, and that’s something worth celebrating.

✨ Want to keep growing?
Join me on Talie Speaks for monthly reflections, gentle encouragement, and cozy reminders that healing doesn’t have to be heavy — even when it’s haunted.